Funny embarrassing dating stories

With one swift kick from the inside, I lose my shit.

As I waddle up the stairs crying, my boyfriend is asking what is wrong.

“I had just got my first job, and wanted to eat there with a friend.

It was a pretty cold and frosty evening, as we got close I figured there’d be a bit of a queue and it’d be worthwhile nipping into a dark corner and having a piss. Out of nowhere and with no warning I just eject a stream of hot liquid shit all down the back of my legs. Thankfully it was in private and I cleaned it up without any of my friends or SO finding out.” – Anonymous 11.

I was wearing beige/khaki combats, and I’m fairly sure I was steaming gently. I am as far from my house as I was going to get that evening. “I was about 10 or 11, my friend’s dad had just passed away from a sudden heart attack and I was at his wake in a church with about 300 other people.

This is probably karma for laughing at the folks who stumbled in the rain, so just deal with it. So when a ninja runner sneaks up on you and you catch a glimpse of them in your peripherals at the very last second, our natural reaction is to jump in fear – maybe even strike a karate-esque pose.

Besides, it’s nothing a little super glue, or a lot of Elmer’s can’t solve. Making awkward eye contact with someone as they enter a foul-smelling bathroom, because you know they think you’re responsible, whether you really are or not. We’ll feel humiliated when we discover that we’re not actually being attacked, and the alleged killer continues running past us.