8 simple rules for dating my teenage daughter online

Cate Hennessy: So, where's your family tonight, Carter? [Pats Rory on the shoulder] How're you doin' there, son? that I, I want you to know that I wasn't playing with your stuff. He goes back to looking at Carter] My son took something.

You know, when you grow up the eighth of nine kids, sometimes you can get lost in the shuffle. I can't trust a man who sneaks in my bedroom while I'm showering and plays with my stuff. Just like a certain ex-wife whose number I will not mention. No, no, that's neither here nor there, it's just...

You're going to help me with the gardening and cleaning the rain gutters.

Carter Tibbits: Well, wife number one is in Aspen with my girls. And wife number four, my current wife, she's vacationing with her mother in Martha's Vineyard. Carter Tibbits: We don't ever talk about wife number three! Bridget Hennessy: You know, aren't you a little young to have all of those wives? Paul Hennessy: Now, Carter, I just want to set everything straight, and then you'll never hear from me again.

Bridget: Define "sexually active."Kerry: Do you want to be home schooled?

[Kerry, listening to her, sighs and rolls her eyes] Bridget: [on the phone to Donny Doyle] You have reached Bridget's voice mail.

Your face looks like Lacey's." Bridget: [in shower] Who's the girl with the great hair?

Rory Hennessy: [He and Paul go towards the door, but Rory turns back for a moment] Mr. Carter Tibbits: There's nothin' funny about stealin', son. It's just, my dad's so funny, and I was trying to be funny.

[Stops himself, realizing he's said too much] I think you know where the door is.

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